She had a smile that only an angel could
Beautiful, broken, and misunderstood
I knew the damage, I saw the cracks
But I still leaned in, never looking back
She touched the parts I tried to hide
Our love was pain, but damn, I tried
She pulled me close, I let her go
I loved her more than she’ll ever know
She held on, when my choices stole her light
Dimmed her fire that once burned so bright
I watched her fade as I clung to control
She paid the cost, and I played the fool
She loved me broken, I loved her lost
And in the end, she paid the cost
I wore my damage like a crown
She held me up, I let her down
Though her smile held both grace and grief
We built a love beyond belief
Through every storm, I watched her stay
I gave her pain I can’t take away
Forgiving me was grief, I know
But somehow, it helped her grow
I almost lost her, but we made it through
And that’s what taught me what love can do
Wounded Grace
The temptation grin feels edged with wounded grace.
Reviews (4)
4/9/2026
Thank you, I will be taking a look at this later I appreciate the feedback.
4/9/2026
The Words That Got to Me
I have to confess that my understanding of your poem comes from how I interpret your title which, for me, is highly significant. It immediately imbues your words with a spirituality and you further allude to this on your first line. I find the perspective from which you write this very interesting because my feeling is that the one to whom your title applies is the "she" of your poem. And it seems from my reading of it that "she" is someone who has shown only love to the writer despite what the latter has put her through and, from that, the writer has come to realise not only what love can be but what it is.
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
I am not overly keen on the control/fool rhyme and I feel the repetition of what on the last line is a little clunky.
4/9/2026
I’m going to take another look at this later and do a little revising. This is part two of “Temptation’s Grin,” which was her perspective, and I was trying to write this one from his. I wanted them to feel similar, but I’ll definitely look at a few of the couplets again later.
4/9/2026
Sorry my bad. I hadn't realised that. I shall take a look at the other poem. Sorry.
4/9/2026
The Words That Got to Me
Lines that really worked for me and hit me emotionally: I knew the damage, I saw the cracks But I still leaned in, never looking back She held on, when my choices stole her light Dimmed her fire that once burned so bright I watched her fade as I cling to control She loved me broken, I loved her lost And in the end, she paid the cost I wore my damage like a crown She held me up, I let her down
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
I agree that the loose rhyme of control/fool doesn't really work when the rest of the rhymes are so tight. I also agree that the emotions and content is repetitive and could use some more items for the reader to ponder.
I feel like the rhyme scheme is actually holding you back in this poem. It keeps true emotional vibes from radiating out from a soul on the page in ink. The rhyme scheme keeps you in the "telling" of writing and gatekeeps you from showing more. This is truly just my little opinion. You can keep the rhyme scheme if you truly want it to rhyme, but try and dig it deeper and show more facets of their relationship or shorten it.
4/11/2026
The Words That Got to Me
‘I knew the damage, saw the cracks’ - a wonderful beginning. ‘Dimmed her fire … watched her fade’ - this was incredibly vivid and moving.
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
‘as I cling to control’ was suddenly in the present. I felt like it should be in the past still with ‘as I clung to control’.
Having read the twin poem to this, this completed the examination of a relationship tempered by fire. I thought it felt very real- all the regrets and sorrows were there, but hope too.
4/9/2026
The Words That Got to Me
"She had a smile that only an angel could Beautiful, broken, and misunderstood I knew the damage, I saw the cracks But I still leaned in, never looking back" Your opening stanza belongs in both of these sections. The first line is overtly familiar in language and incomplete. It just doesn't read comfortably, and is followed by the next full of overused phrasing... Then WOW! You knock it out of the park; the final couplet is so good. It has weight. You immediately establish choice and awareness. You show me the essence of the situation. “She held on, when my choices stole her light” A strong line that shows me both cause and consequence. “I wore my damage like a crown” What a great image. I can visualise this person so well, full of pride and self-awareness, but also self-destructively damaging herself. All in one powerful line. “She held me up, I let her down” Neat, simple and clear contrast.
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
“Our love was pain” Show me, don't tell me. This is a summary, when you are so good at imagery. You weaken the power of this poem with familiar stock phrases. “beyond belief” “through every storm” “what love can do” etc There is also some repetition, while this can work, it needs to be used to deepen the meaning. A few stanzas are restating the same emotional point—you hurt her, she stayed, you regret it “she paid the cost” appears twice
You have written a sincere poem with a very clear emotional arc. Where it works, it is direct and unadorned. “I watched her fade” - “my choices stole her light” feels honest and less composed than where you slip into the more stock phrases of emotional poetry. You have a strong core premise with genuine accountability that is softened by cliché. Be braver, and if something sounds like you have read it before, try to see how you can give it an original twist. You have the essence of a powerful poem; you just need the courage to make it so.