He wore a smile only devils knew,
And still, I cast my caution through.
His words were sweet not quite a vow,
I knew the truth, but hoped somehow.
He touched my scars; I mirrored his pain,
We danced through loss and called it gain.
He ran from light, I chased his shade,
Two broken souls and the mess we made.
We longed for love but found more trauma,
Tried to mend through lies and drama.
The bond we built was never whole,
And in the end, it took its toll.
He kissed my hurts and felt like home,
Our love the only kind I've known.
My adult life has circled him,
So I love him still, like it's a sin.
But lessons are learned despite intention,
Devotion fades into neglect's dimension.
What once was fire turned cold within,
And silence echoed where trust had been.
Though his smile screamed of sin and strife,
We laughed, we wept we lived a life.
Through each storm we held on tighter,
Proving together we're both fighters.
Forgiving him was grief, it's true,
It also healed — proved what love can do.
4/9/2026
The Words That Got to Me
“He touched my scars; I mirrored his pain,” What a great line. You show me mutual damage with no need to overexplain. “My adult life has circled him,” This very specific and a tad unusual wording shows me an obsession.
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
This poem wants to be immense but is fighting itself with the familiar “lies and drama” “felt like home” “love him still, like it's a sin” and others feel like stock phrases that detract from where you use original and innovative descriptions. You also allow the reach for rhyme to steer the poem rather than allowing the truth of the relationship to drive the flow. shade / made” “trauma / drama” “whole / toll”
I think the biggest thing I got from this poem is that you hint at a messy and emotionally powerful story but then flatten it with the safety of the familiar. Scream out the mess, show us the trauma. That is where it will be at its strongest. The poem is authentic; it has emotional truth, but it’s hidden. In places, you reach that sharp reality—you just don’t stay there. With more bravery and more individual language, this could become something genuinely powerful.