The Innovative Job Applicant

“So-o, Mrs. Hicker? I see you…”

“Hickup.”

“Hickup?  Ha ha. Sorry. Well, Ms. Hickup, it says here that you have an original idea for mask designs for our little start-up. We’re always open to new ideas, so-o, let’s hear it.”

“Yes sir, Mr. Rath. I think my idea would make your little start-up a ‘take-off-runnin’.”

“‘A take-off-running. Really?”

“Yessir.”

“And how is that?”

“Well, ya see, I have all kinds of faces—funny, sad, movie stars, politicians, animals, but, the clincher is the nostrils.”

“Nostrils?”                  

“Yes sir. Big ones, so the wearer can breathe. That’s the problem with the ones today, ya know.  People can’t breathe.”

“Ms. Hickup, that’s the point.”

“What? Ya mean, not to breathe?”

“On other people.  Yes.”

“But what about us poor wearers? We gotta breathe!”

“I believe the wearers manage all right.”

 Well… what if, instead of big nostrils, I put little bitty holes?”

“Little bitty holes, big nostrils, same thing. Breathing on other people.”

“So, you’re sayin’ other people are more important.”

“Nooo, Ms. Er, Hic…”

“Hickup!”

“Right.  Hickup. You do realize these ‘other people’ wear masks, too, and they also have a hard time breathing.”

“Well, heck-fire, sir, …. Oh! Oh! This is great! Listen to this. What if I make up a bunch of masks, like for Halloween, that have a blue face and bulgin’ eyes?  No?  Well, what about blue masks with ‘HELP, I CAN’T BREATHE’ on them, or ‘Oxygyn! Quick!’ huh? Or, wait, this is it! This is a terrific idea—what if you made miniature oxygen tanks that people could have on their key chains so mask wearers could have a quick squirt?  What about that?

“Ms…uh”

“HICKUP!”

“Yes. Mrs. Hickup, I’m sorry, I’m afraid not, but I sure appreciate your coming in.”

~  ~  ~  ~

“Hello, Billy Ruth?  Rath here, get on the stick and see if you can find anybody makes miniature oxygen tanks—yeah, but little ones, like for key chains, and get back to me STAT!”.