The Shepherds Plight
sheep graze, silent bleet
shepherds walk on tepid feet
pale sight soon to greet
malevolent roar
cloven hooves may click no more
red eyes wreck the door
rotted fur, scents life
pole that swings the mighty strife
blood of two, one knife
wind blown fur, ripped skin
Lamb's crying, herdsman's hard win
ewe's pain, wolf's dead grin
gray sheep, keeper weeps
his flock, the wolf never sleeps
herd, beware...wolf leaps
5/11/2026
The Words That Got to Me
"malevolent roar cloven hooves may click no more" What a great sound feast, possibly the strongest in the piece. “rotted fur, scents life” I enjoyed the way you shift me into the animal and fill me with scent as the focus. “ewe's pain, wolf's dead grin” This is a memorable pairing that mixes pain with predatory satiisfaction.
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
“pole that swings the mighty strife” This is one of the less clear images. I assume this refers to the shepherd’s weapon or staff, but “mighty strife” feels abstract compared to the otherwise physical imagery. There are also moments where articles being omitted (“the”, “a”) help the rhythm but reduce emotional immersion. A few carefully chosen fuller phrases could make the poem breathe more naturally while still keeping its stark style.
This poem has a strong instinct for atmosphere and rhythm. I love the way you weave this bleakly vibrant tale of the harsh life of the wild hills. You are doing a lot of work with minimal words, which is a challenge, but when it works, as this does, the result is a joy to read. You have a talent for creating a chant-like rhythm, which gives a result that feels less like a narrative poem and more like an omen being recited beside a fire.
5/13/2026
The Words That Got to Me
silent bleet, tepid feet, malevolent roar, wolf's dead grin, wolf never sleeps ...wolf leaps
I commend you for writing this tale in so few words--each meaningful--and because of that reasoning I must ask about a few: silent bleet? does that mean no bleeting, or very soft bleeting? malevolent roar - wolf doesn't roar, so does it means loud growl? Please, I am not knocking poetic originality, just trying to understand your meaning through these words. And lastly, wolf's dead grin. Am assuming it's dead, then wolf leaps? I hope I am being gentle in my questions. I am just curious. If these words are supposed to give a general feeling not necessarily the definite meaning, I understand. I think. It is definitely a unique way of writing--at least to me. However Tim M.is a smart fellow, and he loves your poem. But, if you wouldn't mind giving me your thoughts concerning my questions, I would truly appreciate it. Thank you most kindly, Katharine
5/8/2026
The Words That Got to Me
'malevolent roar cloven hooves may click no more red eyes wreck ...' - I felt this was the strongest part of your poem, showing the havoc the wolf wreaks on the flock.
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
I think this should have been filed in Poetry - you can do that by going to settings and choosing that at the time of posting or afterwards, by clicking on your name, pressing on my works and editing. Tepid feet - I found tepid an odd choice here - did yo mean slightly warm? I wondered if a different word might express the shepherd's life better - e.g. tired, tireless, brawny, sturdy, strong etc. 'scents life' - Did you mean sense life? I couldn't quite catch your meaning here.
I liked the way you showed the Shepherd's determination against the wolf. Your description of the killing scene was very powerful.