Thanks to Diane Kenel-Truelove for teaching me this Dorsimbra format.
If ev'ry word e'er spoken was the truth
And ev'ry person was a friend to trust,
Then life would be so easy to deduce
And nothing in our days would feel unjust.
But people lie
And life's unfair.
When Fate steps in,
Plans and dreams can die.
So learn resilience early as you can.
Be joyful but still keep a watchful eye.
For what a won'drous place this world would be
If ev'ry word e'er spoken was the truth.
10/4/2026
Wow! I am so HAPPY with this review! I was worried that the middle quatrain was more 'acerbic' than 'snappy,' so this is very validating, indeed. Yes, it IS a musical format, for sure, with that A B A format. I also particularly love that the first and third, though both in iambic pentameter, are so different without a rhyme involved. (And I did not know that no rhyme and iambic pentameter = Blank Verse. So thank you for making me smarter in that regard, too!) See? You're absolutely still teaching!!! Thank you for all this helpful feedback. xoxox
10/4/2026
A powerful and thoughtful piece, as well as very good advice. Your words echo in my mind after reading them several times. If kids were taught this in school, and at home, what a better world this would be. a wonderful Dorsimbra!
10/4/2026
The Words That Got to Me
If ev’ry word e’re spoken was the truth And ev’ry person was a friend to trust, Ah yes, wouldn’t that be marvellous!
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
‘It can decimate plans and dreams’ - wondered if it would be better as ‘It decimates plans and dreams’ to make each of those lines short.
I’m very impressed that you could learn this new form of poem so quickly, and put it into practice. Your message of course is a pertinent one. If only people would be more trustworthy and truthful in general. Luckily, I think I am blessed with knowing some, both here and on this site!
10/4/2026
Thanks, Rachel. And thanks, too, for the suggestion. That line kept not sitting right with me, too. I'm going to change it and appreciate the feedback so much. xoxo Also, you should give this format a try! I bet you'd be great at it. You have a knack for challenges and the ability to write in every style created!
10/4/2026
Aw, thanks. I might have a little go!
10/4/2026
The Words That Got to Me
Definitely a short and snappy free verse quatrain: But people lie And life's unfair. When Fate steps in, It can decimate plans and dreams. ~~~~~~ I appreciate the wisdom expressed in these words: So learn resilience early as you can. Be joyful but still keep a watchful eye.
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
Some critics dismiss the use of elision in poetry. But I am not one of those! Especially useful when reading a work aloud. I recently wrote a sonnet on another site, and was slammed for utilizing elision. So it goes.
Hello, Rachelle! An exceptionally well-crafted Dorsimbra! I love how your three quatrains develop into a cohesive message. Wise words and powerful advice! I wish I were still teaching, as I would love to share this poetic form with students! Rather musical, yes? Thank you for sharing! fondly, diane