A Toe Story

A Toe Story

“Doc, see my toe?”

“Well, sure I see it. It’s kind of hard to miss. Just joshin’ ya, Sam.”

“Know what I call ‘er?”

“Your toe’s a she?”

“Yep. Call ’er, Lou.”

“Lou, huh? Why is that?”

“Ok, Doc, look at my foot and think to yourself, what state does that foot remind you of?”

“Ha ha ha. You’re right. It looks just like Louisiana. Aren’t you clever?”

“Dunno ‘bout that, but I have a real problem with shoes.”

“I can certainly see where you would.”

“Yeah, I have to get my shoes specially made, and aside from one bein’ way bigger than the other one, they are expensive – whooee!”

“Well, Sam, there is one thing you could do that would solve your problem. Both shoes would match, both would fit, plus think of the money you’d save.”

“What? Bind it under like the Japanese women used to do?”

“No, although that’s a thought. No, the snip would be quick and easy.”

“SNIP? What snip?...You don’t mean Lou… you do?  Oh, nooooo. Cut off Lou?”

“Not all of Lou, just down to the length of your other… of her other friends.”

“Oh. Same as her friends, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Well, she might like that.”

“I bet she would and I bet you’ll like being able to buy regular shoes like your friends—just walk in a shoe store—all those choices.  A new Lou and a new you.”

“New Lou. But… she’ll only be Half Lou.”

“Sam, it’s up to you. You think about it and let me know what you decide to do.”

“Okay, Doc.”

“Oh, by the way, after surgery you get a free popsicle—any flavor—your choice.”

“Wow. Regular shoes and a popsicle. Whaddaya say, Lou?”

“Oh, Lou gets to decide?”

“Well yeah. And she said, go for it. She was lonely, sticking out there all by herself.”

Follow up appointment after surgery…

“Hi, there, Sam. How are you and Half Lou doing?”

“Great, Doc. Lou says now that she’s the same size as her friends, she’s kinda got a “thing” for Buster.”

“Buster? Who’s Buster?”

“Buster, Big Toe.”

“Ah, I see. So, you name all your toes?

“Well, sure, and my fingers and my ears and…. Doc, are you laughing at me?”

“No. ha ha ha ha Certainly not. ha ha … Why would … he he he he