Pain blurs the boundaries (Special thanks to Tim Margetts for teaching the format of a Ripple Poem)
I can't remember
All the bad things that I said
Back in November
When my heart was being led
By emotions I couldn't contain
Or impulses I wouldn't restrain.
A branding ember
All the bad things that I said
Into December
While sobbing over our bed
From the heartbreak I couldn't explain
O'er never seeing you again.
I still remember
As I bent to kiss your head
Late in December
When they pronounced you were dead
While I, horrified, screamed out my pain:
"Where is G-d? I won't trust Him again."
8/18/2026
I appreciate the validation; thank you, Rachel. xoxo
8/18/2026
The Words That Got to Me
“All the bad things that I said” This changes so much between the two stanzas. It begins as guilt and confused recollection, and then becomes something inescapable. “When they pronounced you were dead” There is a clinical finality in this. After all the more lyrical lines surrounding, this lands hard and brutally stark. “Where is G-d? I won’t trust Him again.” This ending is fully earned by the poem's journey.
This poem is full of real pain, Rachelle. I said a lot about what makes it stand out in my comments on the Words that got me. The whole thing makes such excellent use of the Ripple format, taking us on an inevitable journey until, like a ripple, it bounces back upon itself in that heartfelt plea to a deafened god.
8/18/2026
The Words That Got to Me
I can't remember All the bad things that I said Back in November When my heart was being led By emotions I couldn't contain Or impulses I wouldn't restrain.
Feelings of anguish and guilt, throughout, until the end - anger at God for horrible loss. This sad piece is very emotionally and beautifully expressed, engaging the reader, in what I have just learned, is a Ripple Poem. So, I'm wondering, it says general fiction, yet in poetic form. Which should it be listed under?
8/18/2026
Grrr! I ALWAYS forget to adjust the form when I post something!! Thank you for this important reminder. It's a Ripple poem. xoxo
8/18/2026
The Words That Got to Me
By emotions I couldn’t contain Or impulses I wouldn’t restrain Ah - the heavy load of regret. I loved the internal rhymes here and the beautiful but haunting rhythm.
What a power-pack of love, emotional turmoil and regret that was! A beautifully-expressed poem that put the reader through the wringer. Well done!