“But Mum, it’s so unfair! Why can’t I have a pet of my own?” Rosie stood in the bathroom doorway, blocking her mum’s exit.
Rosie was good at blocking exits. She had a way of standing with her feet wide apart and her arms folded, that said DON’T MESS WITH ME! With her dark frown and curly, chestnut brown hair, she looked like an angry bear. A bear who had been woken up too early from hibernation. She had been following her mum around all morning.
Rosie’s mum sighed. She had a way of sighing, with her eyes half closed and shoulders drooping, which said YOU’RE WEARING ME OUT!
Rosie didn’t really want to wear her mum out; she just wanted to wear her down.
Rosie was desperate for a pet of her own. Next month, there was a best pets competition at the school fete. All her friends had pets of their own and her best friend Aisha had said she was definitely going to enter her guinea pig, Popcorn.
“PLEASE, Mum, just one little pet,” Rosie whined.
“We’ve been through this a thousand times,” Mum said, talking in that slow, calm voice that Rosie knew meant she really wanted to scream the house down. “We already have enough pets in this house.”
It was true, there were several animals living in the house already. There was her stepdad’s Chocolate Labrador, Bernie, who was friendly but ANCIENT. All he did was sleep, snore, and fart loudly. He was no fun at all.
Then, there was Dragon, a black and white cat they had found abandoned on the doorstep one morning. All she did was hunt, hiss and wait on the stairs to swipe Bernie with her vicious claws as he lolloped by. If you tried cuddling Dragon, all you got was a nasty SCRATCH in return. The only person Dragon ever tolerated touching her was Mum, and that was only because Mum was the one who fed her.
Rosie’s big brother, Charlie, owned two goldfish called Chips and Beans, named after his favourite dinner, but they were about as interesting as a spelling test.
The only other pets belonged to Rosie’s sister, Esme. They were about as interesting as a stick. In fact, they looked like sticks and acted like sticks, mainly because they were stick insects. Now and then, Esme would let Rosie hold one, as a massive favour, but they really didn’t do much, except look like sticks.
“But they’re not my pets!” Rosie protested, tears beginning to blur her vision. “I just want a pet of my own.”
Mum sighed again, but this time it sounded like she was a tiny bit sorry. “I know you do, love, but pets need a lot of looking after.”
“I can look after any pet!” Rosie shouted. “I’ll be ten next month! I’m practically a grown-up!”
Mum’s lips wobbled slightly and she pulled Rosie in for a hug, kissing the top of her head noisily. “It’s not just about looking after them. We can’t afford to care for any more animals right now, Rosie. Money’s tight, at the moment.”
Rosie felt a tiny twinge of guilt tugging at her stomach. She hated that worried tone in Mum’s voice. She had heard her mum and stepdad talking about money a lot recently. They were always moaning about all the bills they had to pay.
But Rosie couldn’t stop herself arguing back. “I only want one, little pet,” she whined. “That wouldn’t cost much. Just one little pony.”
“A pony?” Mum laughed. “No, Rosie. I don’t think we could fit a pony into this house.” She patted Rosie’s back, and that always meant THAT’S THE END OF THIS CONVERSATION. Then, sneaky as a Ninja, Mum dodged round Rosie and rushed downstairs.
One point to Mum. Rosie frowned. She was determined to win this battle, whatever it took.
3/27/2026
The Words That Got to Me
“Rosie was good at blocking exits. She had a way of standing with her feet wide apart and her arms folded, that said DON’T MESS WITH ME!” What a great character introduction. This is a superb example of show, don't tell. With this line, we instantly know what sort of stubborn child we are dealing with. Another excellent line and one relatable to every child reading it. “Rosie didn’t really want to wear her mum out; she just wanted to wear her down.” Your pet descriptions are also clever and exactly the sort of humour children enjoy. “sleep, snore, and fart loudly” “about as interesting as a spelling test” stick insects looking like sticks.
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
Your opening line could be tightened slightly to make the initial hook stronger. Possibly... “But Mum, it’s so unfair! Why can’t I have a pet of my own?” Rosie blocked the bathroom doorway so her mum couldn’t escape. would be a stronger link to the excellent next sentence image of Rosie's stubborn nature. While repetition is good in a children's story, there is quite a bit of “All he did was…” “All she did was…” “They were about as interesting as…” Maybe vary it a bit so it doesn't feel too formulaic.
You have created here a great chapter in what can easily be a larger book. The character is very relatable. I want to know what happens next, and that speaks highly of the world you have created. Both in structure and tone, you have hit the nail on the head of a great children's story.