Vacations can change us forever
Our bodies entwine in the verdant grasses of this foreign paradise. Her eyes are hypnotic slits, her tongue in constant motion, her skin, dark and exotic, the texture of a mango. I cannot get over how impressively supple and strong her body feels against mine. Hungrily, she encircles me, and I envision our announcement in tomorrow's paper:
Tourist Killed By Anaconda.
4/5/2026
I love you so much for hearing the sibilances!!!!! Thank you for being so tuned in!! This review is immensely validating. Xo
4/6/2026
The Words That Got to Me
This is full of excellent sensory images that make my mouth water in anticipation. “verdant grasses” “hypnotic slits” “tongue in constant motion” “texture of a mango” “supple and strong” “encircles me”
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
If I were to suggest anything, remove slits. That gives away the animalistic nature; it screams snake and reveals the final twist too soon.
Flash fiction lives or dies on efficiency, and this piece is very tight — every line contributes to the misdirection. Nicely done
4/5/2026
The Words That Got to Me
So many wonderful word choices here! 'Her eyes are hypnotic slits' and 'skin, dark and exotic', 'Hungrily, she encircles me' led us to believe we were witnessing some passionate encounter. The sibilance in 'Supple and Strong' and 'encircles' hissed with menace.
Suggestions / Possible Tweaks
Nowt!
Ha ha! You are on shocking form today! This was a fabulous piece of flash fiction with a wonderful twist.